Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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