so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
