that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
