Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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