I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
