So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
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It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
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I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
how drunk are you?
Several
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize