i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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