what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
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