I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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