Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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