His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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