Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
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I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
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Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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