I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The air was thick with penises
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
