trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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