I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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