Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Drunk is not a location!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
