saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
