Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize