i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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