Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
