She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
