It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My vagina just clenched in fear
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
