He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
