Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
