Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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