This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize