My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
