I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
