I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize