i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
