Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
