This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
