Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
