yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
