wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
