Need sex. Gaining weight.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Then you guys just all showered together...?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
