I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
