im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
