you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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