Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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