I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
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