At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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