you win again, gameday.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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