ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
