CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
