wrigley field is MILF paradise
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I am naked and annoyed.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
