he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
