I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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