Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The power of my boobs compel you
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
