We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
