People with herpes should wear stickers.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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