people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
