how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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