I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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