When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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