Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
