Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
