My friends, they love my intelligence
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
