we're blogging at a bar
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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