the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Bring me that man meat
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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