In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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